WHY I CANNOT GIVE BIRTH

....LET THAT SEED GROW

....Written By The Fabulous Maiden Sarah Hackman, A Student

“I am responsible but I’m not ready to be a father.” I felt nauseous immediately – again. How can he say such a thing to my family? I felt dejected. I saw the disappointed look on my mom’s face. I was her only child and she won’t take it.

My family obviously did not agree to commit such an atrocious act but the harm was already done… the shame.

During the ultra-scan, the obstetrician looked at the motion picture on the screen, a smile worked at the corner of his lip. “They’re twins.” He said. I felt a twinge of joy which was clouded with pain and confusion. “Are you sure?” I asked. It was too good to be happening at that point in my life as far as my situation was concerned. To me it was divine but their father did not want them. “I’m a sonographer and I know what I’m talking about... congratulations.”  “Thank you” I managed to say.

Days passed and yet the man still insisted he was not ready to be a father. He kept saying it. I was a burden of pain in his life. The morning sicknesses got bad. I had malaria. I was admitted for days. I became tired and fragile after I was discharged. He took advantage of my depression and lured me to Marie Stopes. To him it would end all the pains I was going through. He did not want them, I was helpless and I agreed. Deep down I loved them and wanted them to live.

I found myself at Marie Stopes. When I saw those girls and young women and even the married, I wanted to run away. I felt I was one of them. I felt dirty. But I was still sitting watching in guilt and confusion. I finally met the psychologist and after some few questions she told me point blank, “you don’t want to do it.” I insisted because I loved the man and was ready to do anything to please him. I was given drugs to take. He wasn’t satisfied with that. He wanted me to go to the theatre to get it out once and for all. The nurses were angry because the medicine was already taking effect. I felt like a robot being manipulated.

I was at the theatre staring at the ceiling. They opened me with an object that held firmly on both sides between my legs. It was painful. Something was used to pull my womb closer. My leg began to shake, another thing was screwed into my womb and I held my breath in deep pain as the nurse pulled out the blood and poured it into the sink. In my pain I began to beg God and my babies for forgiveness and mercy. The next day I began to bleed from dawn till morning. I hid it from my mum and she left for work. I called him and I was taken to the hospital. I went through DNC and this time I was chlorophoned. I bled for over 2 weeks.

I moved on after laboring in pain for a year. I later got pregnant unexpectedly by a different man. Determined, I was going to save this one but I miscarried. Doctor said I had a weak womb, baby making was almost impossible. They later realized that my womb had to be evacuated. I can bravely say I am barren but I don’t wish my experience on even a dog. I just hope my pain and story will save lives and bring happiness to people.
I am not afraid of my status but I’m afraid of the reality of abortion hidden from other girls. I speak for the silent zygote in your womb. SAY NO TO ABORTION, LET THAT SEED GROW.
Thank you

Maiden –Sarah Hackman